Day 39
When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?” “Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.” Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.” The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.”
—JOHN 21:15-17
Of all the things God revealed to me about myself in the desert, none surprised me more than this one: I truly do love Jesus more than anything.
Years of withdrawal from the world, spiritual dryness, and emotional despair rooted out not only some of the ugliness and shallowness in my heart, but also revealed to me the deep love that I have for my Savior.
What an unexpected flower bloomed there in that forbidding place, where little grows.
“There is a climatic phenomenon that occurs in deserts around the world. It is called ‘desert bloom.’ The blossoming occurs when an unusual level of rainfall reaches seeds and bulbs that have been in a latent or dormant state, and causes them to germinate and flower.”
The landscape of my own heart experienced this phenomenon and I wrote a poem to attempt to capture what I learned.
DESERT BLOOM
My desert heart, my inward soul, was dormant, lying still
Not finding in myself the strength to summon up my will
A hand reached down, so scarred and coarse, a Voice so light and free
“Arise my fair one, come away. Come up away with Me”
My legs were weak and trembling and my steps were rough and slow
I stumbled on and searched the wild and soon I found a road
It wound and wound and upward went far off between two hills
The path felt firm beneath my feet the shifting sand now stilled
I quickened as the hills drew close; “Arise!” gave me the strength
The path turned north and soon it opened wide upon a ledge
And here the rising sun unveiled a sight my eyes had craved
And with the sun that blessed Voice around, within me, came
“Arise and shine my fair one! Leave the desert of your shame”
I looked upon the desert bloom as morning stole the night
The blooms now purple, velvet robes now yellow, soft as light
Orange too, like fire, and green! The green was singing forth its song
Triumphant life! The desert blooms sang forth to meet the dawn
The rainfall many months before, forgotten in this land
Of thirsty rock and grey and dark and dusty, gritty sand
That rain had fallen, pooling, spilling, trickling, sinking down
And deep and deep and deeper still beyond all sight and sound
The surface dried but still the rain soaked deep within the sand
Lived on in vital, vibrant life, its purpose in His hand
As I surveyed the desert bloom my Savior took my hand
And sweeping out his arm I saw him show me all the land
“Do you love me more than these?” He looked into my eyes
And at His look those seeds within me burst and sprung to life
The answer sang within me, birthed from drought and thirst and tears
I loved Him more and truer now than all my former years
Yes yes! I love You more than these, more than I ever knew
More than the dust, the sand, the rock, the vibrant vital blooms
More than the mountain tops the peaks the valleys and my wounds
Yes! was the deepest truest seed, the one the rain had found
As I lay on the desert sand, my place there on the ground
And as it left my lips I tied my Savior to me; bound
Not lightly as I had before, not loosely, falling down
I tied the Yes! now firm and fixed, unyielding, lashed around
Around my heart now certain
Who it was that wore the crown
I love you Jesus, though it took the thirst to make me see
That through the dark, the pain, the tears, Your hand was guiding me
