Day 31

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.

—MARK 12:30

There are a lot of lenses that I have worn when seeking to understand the last decade of my life. It is true to say that I look back to wring every last drop of wisdom from these experiences, but to be honest, I look back because I am scared to death of ever going back there. It almost makes my heart fail to think of returning to the fog and the mist and the confusion and the numbness and the thirst. God may lead me through a wilderness again, and I trust His hand, but I pray that, as far as it depends on me, I will never again end up in a wilderness of my own making.

And so again I look back and ask God to help me learn, and again I invite you to look back with me, hoping that what we see in my journey will help you on your own.

Notice that today’s verse doesn’t qualify the “great commandment” with any conditions. It doesn’t command us to love God when we’re on the mountaintop; it doesn’t say to love Him when we are experiencing health and a feeling of well-being, when our relationships are flourishing and our finances are doing well. It commands us simply to love the Lord your God with all of your heart, all of your soul, all of your mind, and all of your strength, ALL OF THE TIME.

One thing the last decade has taught me is that if I couldn’t love God in the wilderness, I couldn’t love Him anywhere.

“To be commanded to love God at all, let alone in the wilderness, is like being commanded to be well when we are sick, to sing for joy when we are dying of thirst, to run when our legs are broken. But this is the first and great commandment nonetheless. Even in the wilderness—especially in the wilderness—you shall love him.”

—Frederick Buechner

What does it look like to love God in the darkness? One thing is certain: it has nothing to do with our emotions and everything to do with our wills. God’s nearness to us is not dependent on whether or not we feel Him there. God is with us no matter where we go. We don’t have to pray “God please be with me” because He already is—He always is.

Loving God in the darkness means BELIEVING He is with you even when you feel utterly alone. Loving God in the darkness means BELIEVING He is for you even when everything seems against you. Loving God in the darkness means BELIEVING in the Light.

Who among you fears the LORD and obeys the word of his servant? Let the one who walks in the dark, who has no light, trust in the name of the LORD and rely on their God.

—ISAIAH 50:10

When you walk in the dark, trust the name of the Lord. Nothing is wasted with God: “You have kept record of my days of wandering. You have stored my tears in your bottle and counted each of them” (Psalm 56:8 CEV). In this time of tears, Love God with all of your heart and with all of your soul and with all of your mind and with all of your strength.

I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.

—PSALM 27:13