I was born a fighter. When my twin sister and I were born, we weighed only four pounds and my parents thought I wouldn’t make it. Then my father saw me in the incubator gripping the thermometer with everything I had and he knew I would.
I grew up with an undiagnosed kidney problem, which translated into a lot of pain as a child. My home was loving, but quite strict, which created a lot of anger in me due to frequent disciplining. In school, I was one of those kids to get the ruler or made to sit in the hallway. I started smoking cigarettes and marijuana when I was 12.
My parents were youth leaders in our church, but at 15 I decided there was no way I was going to listen to God and I left the church. I decided to live life my way. I was wayward, rebellious, angry and unforgiving.
Even now, I can’t understand or comprehend the scope of God’s love. Looking back, I think I always felt there was a God, however I did not believe in Jesus at that time.
I know that God tried to get my attention, but I wanted to find my own way. I tried other religions and philosophies, studied and taught martial arts and stick fighting. Learning the meanest, dirtiest tricks for fighting was my goal, but my heart was heavy. I was in three bad vehicle accidents, one in which a large mining truck exploded when I was driving it. I spent seven months in Southeast Asia doing hard drugs and getting into trouble. When I was 20, I was diagnosed with Malignant Melanoma, a deadly form of skin cancer.
I spent 3 hard years in Toronto before returning to Vancouver with my first wife, who then left me after suffering a miscarriage. I lived in downtown Vancouver for five years in a co-op and hung out in the hardest parts of town. I was still doing martial arts and following deceptive philosophies like fire walking (walking on red hot coals).
However, even when I was far from him, God continued to work in my life. While working as an operator for BC Tel, I met my wife Fong, who is a gift from God. I am so thankful for her. Fong and I married and had children, but something was still missing from our lives.
Then, in 1999, I had a biking accident and was thrown face first into the pavement. I suffered extensive spinal cord injuries in my neck and had to have discs removed and replaced with hipbone. This accident caused me to have numbness throughout my body and my limbs don’t work well sometimes. However, even through this, God was working, as it was then I chose to call out to God and asked, “Okay God – what’s next” and He began to show me.
Romans 5:8
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
At the same time as my accident, my twin sister’s husband was diagnosed with a brain tumour. Paul was 36 and a Christian. Two years later as he lay dying, I saw his peace and knew he had faith. I’ll never forget him holding my hand as I was saying goodbye. He wouldn’t let go and I cried and cried. I was being broken down.
About that time, my daughter Jade insisted on attending church and there, sitting in the back pew of Willingdon Mennonite Church, I felt the Holy Spirit and made a decision to stop fighting God.
Fong and I both asked God to guide our lives and prayed for Christ Jesus to be the center of our attention. We were led to attend Southside Church where we felt God’s presence and in 2004, we were both baptized.
God never gives up on you. If a wayward, lost wretch like me can find peace in learning to know Jesus, then anyone can. I’m still learning, sometimes struggling, but I’ll be alright as long as I’m yoked with Christ. God is faithful. Before I knew Christ, I was selfish, but now I’m more concerned about other people, friends and strangers alike. I realize that God is looking into our hearts to see how we treat and care for people. God replaced my heart of stone with a heart of flesh.
Ezekiel 36:26
I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.
My message to those of you reading this who have a heavy heart, who are tired of chasing after hollow religions or confusing “self seeking” philosophies, come join in an adventure that is wild, crazy and more spectacular than you’ve ever dreamed possible!!! Our God is waiting for you to give your YES! Call on his name and he will be there and he will answer you.
